Back to School ... September

School started today. I can never quite explain the queer achiness in my heart that I get on this particular day. This morning, I woke to the smell of hair product as Asher, our shiny new Junior Higher, woke at 5:30 a.m. to do his hair. Then Nate went downstairs, the pitch darkness pressing against our windows, turning on cheerful twinkle lights and making coffee. I stayed upstairs and did “two French braids” as ordered, for Miss Rhy. Then we ate breakfast and did our bible readings… (ironically, the kids chose to start with Ecclesiastes: “Wisdom is Meaningless” and Proverbs 22 (where we left off, in June) … “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it….”). We measured the kids height against the wall, and I had to sigh inside as Asher strained to stretch as tall as he could, so he would “measure up” to his expectations. Then we took photos. Asher left first, at 6:50 a.m. Gabe left second, at 7:15 a.m. Then Nate at 7:45 a.m. Then, finally, I took Rhy to school at 8:08. Three kids in three different schools this year. Then I came home to an empty house. This is always my LEAST favorite day of the year. I miss the noise. The mayhem. The gentle murmur of voices. Rhylah, crafting in the next room. Asher, STILL PRETENDING, as he dresses up as Newt Scamander, or Harry Potter, or Bilbo Baggins, or whoever he’s pretending to be. Gabriel, as he reads on the couch, twirling his hair (or the dogs ears) with one hand … movie marathons, arguments, trips to the fridge, trips to the beach … books, music … random dancing, legos, movie making … forts in the woods. And no, it’s not ending FOREVER. But there’s something about those carefree summer months. There’s something so timeless about that in-between space, where we have endless days to just BE. Because things change. Families evolve. Teenagers start to drive and get jobs. Moms get jobs. Kids grow up. And other summers are just never QUITE the same. Because LIFE happens. And that’s why this is my least favorite day. I miss my loveable, obnoxious, inventive, wonderful little people. I miss them as they are NOW. Because they will never be quite THIS way, again.